When I got the hospital bill for Boss’s birth, I mailed a check for the balance post haste. I don’t like to have things hanging over my head, you know? Or lost in a pile with a bunch of coupons for gutter cleaning and fliers for bingo night. (The K house is all sex and style!) Apparently the total they gave me was based off an insurance assumption, which in reality fell short about $50. Instead of the hospital sending me a new bill for the half-hundo, they sent me to collections. Collections!
The reason I’m telling you this is because I called the number on the notice and talked to thee nicest lady over in the collections department. She was so kind and sweet; I think she’d bake me a pie if I asked her to. We formed a little friendship in those few minutes and before I hung up I said, “you are very pleasant. Thank you for being so nice”.
She responded, “nice is the only way to be”.
The subject of being nice has come up a lot in the past few days. Sometimes life involves calling out a little bullshit and I take off my lady gloves for that. It’s a tiring job. I’m taking a rest from that aspect of it because there’s a second truth: Sometimes it isn’t worth the headache.
ON TO SOME EXCITING BRAIN FRUIT.
My friend Erin over at Social Butterfly Mom cooked up a doozie of a “nice” project. It’s fitting and timely for me to be a maiden participant, so let’s roll this magic ride out: Validate Thy Neighbor! (#validatethyneighbor – shut up, you love hashtags.) It’s a blog event in which you are welcome to participate. It’s your high school debate team all grown up, dangling perilously toward satire so be careful. The idea is you write an argument against your own beliefs in an effort to mend the gap between yourself and the mom across the aisle. Mommy wars, be gone! (Or parent wars. Chill down, bro.)
In my case, I shall now write an argument on why it’s okay to eat meat. Just so you know where I’m coming from, I’ve been a vegetarian 22 years.
1. Eating meat is normal. Well, eating meat is normal to you and that’s how you grew up and how everyone around you does things – not to mention pretty much all of humanity before you. Expecting someone to not eat meat ever again because they’d like to in theory would be holding them to a higher standard of charity than probably every single person around them. It’s hard to break away from what you’ve always known. So, eat that meat, lady. I’m here to help you think and cook if you change your mind, or there’s that big ole thing called the interwebz and libraries or anyone with a nose ring. Until then, or never, carry on.
2. Some people eat for their blood type. This might be internet science, so feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there are four different blood types and the people who have them respond differently to various diets. My husband is a mediterranean man (meow!) and his blood type is O. Apparently a high-protein diet works better with his system. I won’t give him any crap about the fact that I was on a high-protein/low-carb diet for the three months before our wedding and had all the energy in the world for zip-lining and hiking on our honeymoon (hi, nuts, eggs, edamame, tofu, quinoa, and beans). He insists he needs his meat and I grant him that since he lives in his body and he’s the one with the O blood coursing through his veins. Who am I to throw a rice cake at him? Shoo. Do your thing.
3. Allergy people are already limited. I have a friend whose autoimmune disease is so acute, she has a list of like, six things she can eat. They’re not even the things you’d normally think of as healthy. Lettuce is her anti-christ (something about fiber?) so she sticks to a super strict Paleo diet with a bunch of bone broths. The No Meat Athlete says Paleos and vegans can be friends. So. Let’s be friends! Who the hell am I to tell you what makes your autoimmune disorder throw spiked nunchucks at your intestines? NOBODY.
So there you go, you flesh-chewing fool. Live your life. It’s nice.
To see the counterpoint to my argument (a meat-eater giving you reasons to be vegetarian, click here).
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